


A Very Drapple/Drarry Valentine's Day

by ahgasebam



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AVPM References, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drapple (Harry Potter), Drarry, Established Relationship, Everyone Is Gay, Gay, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Love Potion/Spell, M/M, Sexual Tension, Snape is a weirdo, Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:54:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23028892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahgasebam/pseuds/ahgasebam
Summary: It's Valentine's Day at Hogwarts!Draco, Harry and the apple are all loved up.Snape has a plan involving Polyjuice potion, a threesome with his former red-haired love and Lucifer...*cough*... sorry I mean Lucius Malfoy.Meanwhile Dumbledore's just organising an open mic.What could possibly go wrong?
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Apple, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy/Apple
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	A Very Drapple/Drarry Valentine's Day

**Author's Note:**

> My mind is so powerful.  
> (go watch Starkid's musicals to understand the faint references)

Valentine's day had never been a big event at Hogwarts before, however after Draco and Harry both discovered the wonderful nature of including an apple in their relationship, romance seemed to blossom all around the castle. Dumbledore had become somewhat emotionally invested in the dynamics that Draco, Harry, and the apple had, therefore to celebrate their passionate love he had organised an open mic night in the Great Hall. However, it had a twist! The performances by the students had to include something relating to the three lovers.

Currently, Snape was sitting in his office planning on creating a potion that would transform the apple into Lily Evans, lengthen Draco's hair and banish Harry so he could replace him and live out his fantasy of having a threesome with Lily Evans and Lucius Malfoy, or as he liked to think of him, Luscious Malfoy. Snape sighed greasily already losing himself to his tempting daydream involving a mouthwatering scenario where he was able to truly show both Lily and Lucius how much he loved them.

“I can’t wait to finally braid Lily and Lucius’ hair together in one perfect spiral, pull up my robes and stick my…” He was interrupted by a sudden commotion at the door.

Snape’s eyes darted towards the open door of his office and glimpsed a flash of red hair and flushed cheeks before the figure of Ginny Weasley disappeared back down the corridor.

“Merlin’s fluffy untamed beard!" He exclaimed in horror, before pulling out his wand and dashing after her with only one thought in his mind. No one must know of my secret fantasies.

Meanwhile in another part of the castle, namely the Gryffindor common room, Harry and Hermione were planning their outfits for the Valentines day open mic event. Recently Ron and Hermione had decided to stay best friends instead of dating as their last date became a disaster after Ron decided that, since Hermione was a Gryffindor, the best gift to get her to make a grand gesture would be a Lion. But he couldn’t just get her any lion since it was Valentine's day, apparently, it made perfect sense to gift her with a bright pink lion complete with a bow on the top of its fuzzy little head. To be fair on Ron Hermione had actually been delighted with the lion, if not a bit confused about what to do with it. However, after spending a night in the girl's dormitory the lion decided to use Hermione’s trunk as its toilet, therefore, all of her books were ruined. This was the final straw which led both Ron and Hermione to realise that their dynamics had become too chaotic to carry on in their romantic relationship and they were perfectly content as friends so there was no need to spoil that aspect of their relationship.

Meanwhile, even though the breakup was mutual Hermione had still found it difficult and since Harry had been spending a lot of time in the Slytherin common room Hermione had begun talking to Pansy. Surprisingly they found that they were able to quickly form a bond and soon began spending time together in their free time. To Hermione’s excitement, Pansy had invited her into Hogsmeade on Valentine's day to spend their first date at a lovely Italian restaurant which Hermione was looking forward to however she was sad she would miss the open mic night.

“You really want to see Draco and I cuddling up to an apple?” Harry laughed when she told him what she was disappointed about.

“I’m pretty sure you’ll have a better time with Pansy…unless you’re desperate to see us get-.“ He paused for a moment.

“- steamy.”

Hermione turned to Harry with an unamused stare and swiftly whacked him over the head with a textbook (“ouch”). They continued to chatter amongst themselves, playfully teasing each other every now and then.

“So between you and Draco who’s the top and who’s the bottom?”

“Well, Hermione, to be honest, you really should be asking who’s the apple corer and who’s the inserter.”

“Right okay I guess it’s a bit different when you’re getting intimate with a fruit.”

“It’s a lot juicier too if you know what I mean.”

“…right I’m leaving now Harry I can’t believe my best friend’s a fruit fucker.”

“Wait, Hermione, what?”

“You heard me. Fruit fucker! Fruit fucker! Fruit fucker! Fruit fucker!” Hermione’s chants echoed out of the Fat Lady’s portrait as she exited the Gryffindor common room ignoring the shocked and slightly amused look on Harry’s slowly reddening face.

As the day progressed the evening grew nearer and the professors began to decorate the Great Hall in preparation for the much anticipated open mic event. While Professor Flitwick was distracted with casting charms to adorn the ceiling with baubles and floating hearts and the house elves were bringing in the food, Snape slid through the door with a lustful gleam in his eye.

Earlier, after a great deal of undignified running down corridors, he had managed to capture Ginny Weasley and prevent her from escaping and revealing his secret fantasies. He had then decided that the best way to get rid of Harry was not in-fact banishing him but instead enamouring him with his former love. Sadly Ginny was not at all interested in this plan and after she managed to conjure up a group of earwigs to crawl inside Snape’s ears and screamed at him that she was dating Luna Lovegood and could he please ‘Pull your head out of your ass Professor’ he had had enough and forced a love potion down her throat to force her to love the golden boy with his gleaming green orbs. For a reason unknown to anyone, but Snape himself, he had stolen the chosen one’s cloak earlier in the week and swiped a sample of his hair just in case he ever needed to manipulate or craft a potion involving his unruly curls. Clearly, nothing could go wrong with this elaborate concoction.

The Great Hall had begun to fill up with students, mainly first years, all craning their heads for a glimpse of the one and only Harry Potter. Unknown to them behind the velvet pink curtain, which had been placed in front of the stage to add to the electric atmosphere, Harry, Draco and the apple were sitting comfortably cuddled together waiting for the show to begin.

“How do you feel about this event baby?” Harry asked Draco slipping his arm around the Slytherin’s shoulders in a comforting embrace.

“Have you seen the list of performers?” Draco raised his eyebrow at Harry in amusement.

“Considering the first one taking the stage is Severus I doubt it’s going to be anything less then horrifyingly embarrassing… I can't wait.”

Harry groaned and reached over Draco to cradle the apple in his arms.

“Help me.” He whispered to the juicy looking green apple which was already oozing fruit juice in anticipation. However, since apples cant talk he was left with no response. Shrugging his shoulders Harry sucked the apple clean and gave a small kiss to the top of its head.

“Really Potter?” Draco sighed, “You’re doing that here? Have some self-control I refuse to date an ignoramus.”

Harry rolled his eyes at Draco and flushed as the blond-haired boy leant in to run his finger over the Gryffindor’s bottom lip wiping off the apple juice that had failed to enter his mouth. Leaning in with a smirk on his face Draco paused just before his lips touched Harry’s and muttered,” You better save some juice for me or I may just have to suck it out of you instead.”

Harry’s mouth twitched with the glimpse of a smile and he was about to retort however just then the curtain rose up revealing the trio of lovers to the waiting crowd who eagerly began to cheer and shoot sparks into the air with their wands to create a cacophonous clash of sounds. Snape purposefully strode out onto the stage and grabbed the microphone raising his hand to induce silence among the awaiting crowd of students. Looking behind him to cast an unidentifiable look at the three lovers on the couch Snape opened his mouth to begin his song and began strutting around the stage swishing his cape like an overgrown bat who couldn’t remember how to control its wings.

_Do you remember that time?_

_When you wouldn't talk to me?_

_No, you wouldn't talk to me_

_Yesterday_

_We were gettin' along_

_Had a little dancey thing_

_Well here's a song I sing_

_My way_

_It was gonna be fine_

_But you didn't wanna be_

_Be the red-haired girl that'd be with me_

_No way_

_And now you're saying it's time_

_You don’t like when I call you that?_

_Well I don't like the way you act_

_Around him_

_So Lily, come on, come on..._

_Whoa, then you told me to go_

_maybe Luscious Lucius is the one_

_D-d-do you think we should have a threesome?_

_I'm sorry, did I just stutter?_

_Won't ever let you go_

_I know this isn't the end_

_You were never a true friend_

_But I still want you to be -_

_I still want you to be my lover_

As Snape finished his performance a hush fell over the Great Hall as everyone took their time to digest his lyrics. Pausing for a second to collect his thoughts Harry jumped to his feet sending a fierce glare towards Snape who was now beckoning towards a figure at the back of the crowd.

“How dare you sing a song about my mother! What was all of that stuff about a threesome you complete creep?”

“I refuse to believe that you just called my father ‘Luscious’ Severus really have you completely lost your mind?” Draco muttered in disgust, his eyebrows drawn together in astonishment.

Suddenly the crowd parted and Ginny was seen striding forward with a determined glint in her eye. Harry walked forwards to see what she could possibly want and also to question why she was there since he had thought she was in Hogsmeade with Luna. To the surprise of both Snape and Harry Ginny ignored his outstretched hand and instead fell to her knees in front of none other than Draco Malfoy.

“My Slytherin Prince our time has finally come.” She declared, “Ignore this curly-haired fool and recognise the one who truly loves you…*pause for dramatic effect*… ME.”

As Draco began to splutter out a bunch of unidentified curse words Snape’s face dropped and his skin changed to a sickly pale colour,

“I-It must have been the wrong hair, I was so excited for my threesome that I forgot about Draco and Harry’s obscene obsession with each other. Of course, Draco’s hair would be on Harry’s robes he probably wraps himself up in it at night or something.” Snape shuddered in disgust and took to his heels fleeing the Great Hall to the muted giggles of the students.

Looking at each other in the eye with equally horrifies gazes Harry and Draco began to slowly see the funny side of the situation and they broke into uncontrollable laughter. Ignoring the chaos of Ginny confessing her undying love to Draco, Harry drew both Draco and the apple into his arms and lovingly smiled at them both.

“Happy Valentine's day Draco.”

“Happy Valentine's day Harry.”

“Happy Valentine's day…take off your clothes…”

Both Harry and Draco froze at the tiny yet seductive voice coming from the apple and they all smiled knowing that this day was going to be one to remember.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this and gifted it to my girlfriend on Valentine's Day and she didn't break up with me so take from that what you will. 
> 
> The gays always win.


End file.
